Author Archives: Brian Gast

Bubba Watson, winner of the Masters Golf Tournament on Sunday, made this statement at his press conference after the match, “Golf is not my everything.”

Maybe that’s why he won.

How important do we make anything is a reflection of how important we make everything.

Bubba is a pretty low-key guy on the exterior. He described his nervousness and how “amped up” he gets when people cheer him on. There’s no doubt this guy likes to play and win golf games but his lack of attachment to what he does was inspiring. I think this approach will serve him well in his pursuit of a fulfilled life.

Like the Buddha taught, it’s not the doing or having of things that’s a problem, it’s the attachment to them that causes suffering.

The way something ends says a lot about it’s deepest qualities.

Some divorces end peacefully – usually these marriages were peaceful. Many divorces end with resentment and battles over money and kids to ensure the pain continues well after the marriage is over. In such cases the unexpressed hurt and conflict was lurking just beneath the surface all along.

Business partnerships can be the same way. Lives can be the same way. Often someone who dies peacefully, accepting death as inevitable with no one to blame (yes this is loaded with a belief about the serendipity and synchronicity of life) reflects the way a person lived their life.

I am thinking about Joe Paterno. I hope he is remembered for his care and inspiration to his players and for his amazing success as a coach. I also hope he is remembered for the grief he felt about boys Sandusky allegedly took advantage of. And for his willingness to be interviewed, practically on his deathbed, in order to express his remorse.

Someone asked me the other day if there was a pill like the one that was the topic of the movie Limitless, would I take it. Science shows that we all use a limited amount of the computing power of our brain. The pill would allow one to tap into all of the brain’s capability.

My answer was “no”. Of course, it would be great to be more focused, have full access to memories, and learn how to play golf and the piano with mastery without all the hours of practice. I just wonder how long the satisfaction would last.

The mind is overrated. With as much emphasis as has been placed on the mind since the Enlightenment or whenever Descartes said, “I think, therefore I am”, has not necessarily led to a consistent level of ideas that sustain the human race or Earth. Sure, the mind has resulted in the computer, Internet, and the iPhone but it has not prevented conflict and environmental blind spots.

The answer is yes. Two examples are tennis pros Andre Agassi and Serena Williams. In his biography, Open, Agassi describes with deep honesty how he hated the game of tennis since the time he started playing it. But he couldn’t stop playing. His book lets you in on his thinking and emotional roller coaster ride both on an off the court. It appears that joy came when he met Stephie Graf (meeting his need for connection) and established a school for underprivileged kids (meeting his need for service).

For Williams, she not only hates tennis, she hates anything physical,–especially working out. Her favorite activities: “Anything that involves sitting down or shopping.” She says she is excellent at these things and doesn’t understand how she ever became an athlete. She says exactly what Agassi used to say, “I can’t live without [tennis].”

No doubt deeper patterns are driving the people in these examples. A lot is understood about them when you understand their relationship with their fathers.

Just a few weeks ago I was asked to lead a retreat for a group of Central American executives who were meeting in Cartagena, Colombia. This invitation was notable for two reasons. First, although I love these regions, Central and South America aren’t markets I work in very often. Second, I really want to visit Columbia–I have been thinking and talking about this for the past few years. The combination of an unlikely event and a vision (aka intention) for the future is not unusual for me.

Here’s another example. This summer, while backpacking in Yosemite National Park with my family, I really wanted to see a bear. Bear sightings had been on the decline for years due to park ranger rules and education such as the requirement for backpackers to use bear canisters to store food and the many warning signs about fines for improper food storage in campgrounds. Yet, sure enough, there I am opening my tent flap at 1:30 in the morning and seeing an 800 pound bear twenty feet away. The next morning, my wife said, “Stop thinking about and saying you want to see a bear; or say you want to see one from at least a few hundred yards away!”

Every Tim Tebow press conference or interview begins with three thank yous:

I want to thank Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

I want to thank my teammates, they make me look better than I am.

I want to thank the fans for supporting me.

Remember, I don’t watch much news so I many only have the gist of this but you get the idea.

This talented athlete (yes I know he doesn’t throw like Elway) is humble.

And don’t get distracted by the Jesus thing. You insert your words for referring to something bigger than yourself. For the synchronicity of life that makes things happen the way they do – things could be so different (I mean like, a lot worse) and you are not in control.

I’m going to get woo-woo on you a bit. Although I don’t find many people who don’t see the connection between the performance of their mind and the health of their body, sometimes it is a stretch for some to acknowledge the connection.

For example, do you think there is a connection between how much energy you have and how easily and cleanly you express your emotions?

Do you think there is a connection between how rested you are and your emotional state?

Is there a connection between how you relate to your past experience (e.g., shutting out painful memories vs. moving toward them) and your physical health.

Does repressed anger cause depression? Heart conditions?

Does emotional trauma cause back problems?

You know where I am going with all this and your know my answers to all these questions. Stop looking for “research” to allow you to avoid holistic healing and healthy living. Pay attention to your thinking and your emotions as they affect your physical health.

I grew up in Philadelphia. As a college student, I got arrested in State College for peeing in public so I remember the town well. Penn State grew bigger than life as I was growing up. It was known for tailgating parties before the football games and, though many didn’t know much about the university, they knew about the football.

Now we know Penn State for having ruined a party. The party of letting sports programs dominate academic institutions. What Penn State may become famous for is exhibiting our shadow side.

A shadow is a part of you that you would rather not look at or “own” so you repress it, deny it exists and in the process its power and influence over your life grows–your ability to see or control your shadow increases the more you stuff it in your unconscious.

I love watching Bronco’s quarterback Tim Tebow. Don’t you? A young man who has let to loose his innocence or be corrupted by fame. A player who has average stats but helps the team win games. I love hearing the defensive players when interviewed in the locker room rave about Tebow and what he means to the team.

I also love watching the sports journalists try to get their heads around Tebow. They wrote him off when the Bronco’s drafted him. They wrote him off early this season and, like the sports writer for the Wall Street Journal, have had to back-peddle. They were so focused on Tebow’s talent they forgot the impact he has on the team, the Broncos organization and the the fans.

Tebow plays his heart out and it’s contagious. He creates momentum. He is a leader. He is an engaged team player. He aligns his team.

Sometimes it is helpful to get a feel for what a person would be like on the job running our country. The Republican candidate debates have given us a glimpse at how some of these folks would show up. The apparent mind fart of Governor Perry last week is one example.

I don’t think it was just a memory lapse, there is something deeper going on. I don’t think Perry is promoting his beliefs. I think he is memorizing speeches – that lapse was not something that was in his heart in the first place.

More entertaining and frightening – do a search on YouTube for Perry – have you seen his speech when he was either overly medicated or drunk?

Once again, we are choosing among the tallest Pygmies. Looking at the field of Republican candidates for President I wish I could get behind Obama as I had five years ago but that program isn’t working either.

Ever wonder why smart people do stupid things? Politicians take bribes, CEO’s take money from shareholders, spiritual leaders sleep with members of the communities they lead…

We all have blind spots or a “shadow” that holds unconscious material that at the worst possible time rises up and bites us in the behind. We yell at our kids, we rationalize living in conflict with our values or worse.

Knowing the how we deceive ourself is not only the way to be an authentic and effective leader it is a spiritual practice.

Attached is article I sent to subscribers of my monthly Musings on the topic. Click on the word Musings.  Take a look if you haven’t seen it.

I will be moderating a panel at the Four Seasons Hotel in Denver on October 26th at 7:30 – go to www.ctlf.org for more info.

The topic is “Playing to Win”. It is about the secrets to success from a college president to an entrepreneur who succeeding against all odds.

I pushed back on the invitation at first – “I think I define success a bit differently than most business people,” I explained. The program organizer said, “That’s why I want you on this panel!”

Who knows what I’ll say but it will start with defining what success or winning means. Then we will talk about what has worked and not worked in terms of being successful.

I am definitely more quality to talk about failure though. After age 30 I don’t think we learn much new and certainly don’t transform as a result of our successes-but failure, if you take responsibility for your part, if often leads to breakthroughs.

What’s that they say, “You will only live as big a life as the five people closest to you live theirs.”

Take a quick inventory of the five closest people to you other than family members. What kind of life are they leading? If they are living smaller than you maybe it’s time to engage a mentor, accountability partner or form a Mastermind Group or Forum with people who will challenge you.

I know I like to live my own private life on my terms and get grumpy when someone says I should live bigger. I am full of rationalizations about how I am taking risks and balancing this and that, blah, blah, blah. Bottom line: I like to stay well inside my comfort zone.

One challenge I put to my clients is to find an Accountability Partner. Someone who can support you, challenge you and serve as a mirror to help you gain insight and wisdom.

Outside of their spouse, few leaders have this form of relationship.

It seems simple. One coffee or meal every week or even a phone call to talk about what’s important: wins, flubs, challenges, opportunities.

I resisted enrolling this type of support through my thirties. Here is a few paragraphs from my upcoming book The Business of Wanting More that talks about this.

I was rambling a bit on my Facebook business page on the topic of purpose. http://www.facebook.com/executivelifecoach.

I struggle helping a team or leader until I know what’s important to them. I can’t focus my attention until I have a strong “why” for what they are doing. It can’t just be for the money or selling more widgets. I mean, it can be but can you say “booorrring.”

If making money and selling more stuff is why a business exists then decisions are made easy – just do what sells more stuff and makes more money.

The problem is that most employees – the ones that make things happen, that interface with the customer and get stuff done – live on pretty fixed incomes. They don’t make a bunch of money if the company sells more widgets or the company makes more money.

Find out what motivates the folks that get stuff done and you have a strong or even great company.

Last Thursday night I listened to two of the world’s foremost researchers and diagnosticians in the field of Alzheimer’s disease. These doctors work at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center.

The simple fact that we are living longer is making Alzheimer’s more prevalent. No doubt the disease has been around for a long time it just hadn’t been diagnosed before. As the average age increases and the proportion of the population that’s over 65 increases look out for yet another enormous pressure on our health care system.

It was fascinating to hear how little progress has been made toward finding a cure for this disease. It was also interesting to learn about how inconclusive the research was on tying the disease to diet, exercise, mental calisthenics and other lifestyle patterns. It’s not that these things aren’t helpful to maintaining a healthy brain. It’s just that they don’t appear to correlate with getting Alzheimer’s. I have a thought I will share later re: research.

A fellow coach friend of mine described a retreat he led this summer. It was in Alaska in early August. The participants flew in from the mid-west. United out of Chicago, connecting through Seattle into Anchorage. One man asked “are we here?” My friend said no we have to take a flight into another small town. The next plane was commercial but a prop plane. “Are we here?” the man asked as the plane touched down. No, one more flight. The group then boarded another plane, this one a single engine that fit 8 passengers and gear. “Now we’re here”, said the leader. That was until the next morning when the group boarded a seaplane to do some fishing on a huge lake in the middle of some of the most remote and undeveloped country in the North America.

 
A few years ago I completed a personal development program called the Hoffman Process. www.HoffmanInstitute.org It’s a 7 day residential training that identifies and helps break habitual patterns of thinking and behavior that don’t serve you.

The Hoffman is the Rolls Royce of personal growth programs and has been around for 30-plus years. I highly recommend it if you feel like you are carrying “baggage” from your childhood or if you see patterns holding you back. Examples of patterns include insecurity, worrying, perfectionism, recurring risk-taking, arrogance or any behavior that even after you have been told about it you can’t change.

I have found in my work on myself and with clients that what makes these habits so stubborn to break is that they are intertwined with our relationship with our parents or primary care-givers. We unconsciously associate love and acceptance with mirroring our parent’s behavior – both the positive and the negative. In fact, the more painful some of our patterns are, the more they emotionally connect us to our parents. Bob Hoffman who developed the Hoffman Process called this the Negative Love Syndrome.

How are you feeling about the stock market today?

Do feel fear? Guilt? Anger? All are understandable yet all your feelings are fueled by underlying thoughts and expectations. What were your thoughts as the markets jumped around last week?

To ground yourself for the week ahead move toward what you least want to think about. Run out the scenario you fear most. Then be realistic about the probability of you living in a homeless shelter and your kids are looking at you like it’s all your fault. What are the chances of your fears becoming reality?

The market has yet to open so who knows what the week will hold but based on the conflicting perspectives and tone of the commentators (they love to stir up the fear and panic), anything could happen.